“Honor thy father and thy mother…”

“Honor thy father and thy mother…” That’s one of the Ten Commandments, and it comes with built in blessings. We can look in a dictionary to get a definition of the word ‘honor’. We can rely on what we think the word means. But the question remains, 

how do we show honor?

Rumor has it that Tiger Woods delayed entering the Professional Golfers’ Association (PGA) because his father said “Not Yet”. That’s honor.

Shaquille O’Neil entered the National Basketball Association (NBA) early in his college career. He was that talented. As an NBA star he completed his college requirements and graduated. He did this to fulfill a promise he made to his Mom. That’s honor.

There are other examples of people honoring their parents, but it seems the American reaction is one of surprise. What I’ve noticed here in Kenya is honoring your parents is a cultural norm. This includes those that are your ‘spiritual parents’ and other elders (mzee) also.

The Kenyan that shattered my American thinking is named Tobias. He is a 29 yr. old Professional Chef at the Nakuru Game Park Reserve. When I met him, he was on a scheduled leave from his job. He spent this time cooking for his pastor’s family. 

That’s fairly normal here. But what surprised me was to see him daily waking early and cleaning the pastor’s family car. I’m talking detailing interior and exterior daily, with no payment involved. What was his reason for doing this? He simply cannot allow his pastor to drive in a dirty vehicle! That’s Kenyan honor.

Additionally curious is the response I get from other Kenyan pastors here, and other Kenyan young men. They seem amazed that I find a normal Kenyan display of honor as such a monumental event.

So armed with this new insight I have a better understanding of my two Kenyan sons. They refuse to let me carry my luggage, backpack, water, or Bible. They cook, clear and clean the dishes, clean the apartment, wash my clothes, and clean the dirt off my shoes, as they teach me Kiswahili. 

Furthermore, they consider it an insult when I don’t allow them the opportunity to honor me with these actions. Remember, they are not receiving a paycheck for these actions!

I have read Luke 17: 7 – 10 on several occasions. I knew it contain insight that I found troubling. Now, I find myself being ministered to by young men who have a much greater understanding of servanthood than I. They recognize those who sow honor will reap a harvest much more valuable than money.

With both Mothers’ Day and Fathers’ Day fast approaching, perhaps those who still have their parents can intensify their parental honor. Let’s also include those who we recognize as our ‘spiritual parents’. 

Based on what I’m experiencing here in Kenya, honor is appreciated much more than candy, flowers, gadgets, or even jewelry. Honor, as a life-style, is a blessed thing to give and to receive.

If you have a story of parents being honored as a life-style please share it with us here.

Pastor Ken Gaston